Overdose
by Mell23
Summary: This is the fourth time I've found her drugged up. This has got to stop or someone's going to end up hurt. Demi/Selena. Multi-chapter fic.
1. The First Time

Overdose

**Okay guys, this is the first chapter of my first multi-chapter fic. I've already started working on the second chapter so please let me know if i should continue this. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story. I only own the plot.  
**

This is the fourth time I've found her drugged up. This has got to stop or someone's going to end up hurt. The first time I found her like this I had just come back from my tour a few days earlier than expected. I definitely wasn't expecting what I saw when I surprised her at her house, then again she wasn't expecting me either.

*Flashback*

I knocked on the door but there was no answer. It was eerily dark inside her house. All the lights were turned off. What the hell was going on? I took the spare key out of my purse and put it into the door. I turned the key clockwise and hear the satisfying click of the door unlocking. I opened the door and looked into the house, it was ghostly silent. I glanced back out to the driveway and noticed the impending darkness suffocating the neighborhood. This was ominous.

I turned back toward the house and took one step in. Looking around I closed the door behind me and called out "Sel? Are you here?" I heard a clang come from upstairs and I took the stairs up by two. I walked through the long hallway towards her room and opened the door. I saw a shadow of a figure laying on the floor with a bottle beside her. I saw an orange dot of fire light up as someone inhaled from the cigarette. The smoke soon filled the air and I knew it was Selena.

Again, what the hell is going on? "Dem?" I heard her whisper. She put out the cigarette as I walked over to her and sat down beside her. "What the hell are you doing?" I said with anger bubbling inside of me. She didn't answer my question but instead threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. "I missed you Dem, so much. So very very much". I smiled slightly then pulled away looking into her eyes. They were puffy and bloodshot red. I saw pain in them as she looked into my eyes. She looked lifeless, as if someone sucked the soul right out of her when I left. "Sel, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

She giggled, slurring her words a little bit, "What do you mean? Everything's good, I'm good, you're here, that's all that matters". She hugged me tightly again and grasped onto my shirt like she never wanted to let me go. I didn't believe her for a second. What happened while I was gone? Why was she acting like this? Why is she drinking? Why is she smoking? Where is my Selena? There were so many things I wanted to ask her but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

She had her arms firmly attached around my neck and was soon nodding off to sleep. I wrapped her legs around my waist and picked her up. I walked to the bed and carefully laid her down to sleep. Within a few seconds she was asleep and slightly snoring. I looked down at her before I left the room and realized how beautiful she really was. I brushed the thought away and went downstairs. I locked the front door and proceeded to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.

I was staring off into space alone in the kitchen, just me and my thoughts before I realized the time. "Crap". I walked back upstairs and settled myself beside Selena on the bed. She shifted slightly so that her body was pressed up against mine and I wrapped my arms around her waist holding her still. I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes. I could feel my back untangle itself and I sighed. It was a long day but I couldn't wait for tomorrow. I had to know why Selena was acting the way she did. I had to know because I love her. I love my angel more than anything in the world and I wouldn't let anything hurt her. What if something hurt her while I was gone? Oh God.

As I drifted off to sleep I asked myself one more time, what the hell is going on?

I woke up the next morning with Selena lying next to me. Her breath was lightly hitting my cheek every few seconds and I looked down to see every inch of her body pressed against mine. Her arm was firmly around my stomach and her head on my shoulder. I began stroking her hair while thinking about how much I missed her while I was on tour. She's my best friend, how could I not miss her?

I glanced around the room and noticed that it was a mess. Not a usual teenager's room with clothes everywhere but it was still a complete mess. There were papers on the floor and pictures ripped up. I saw broken pieces of glass on the floor beside the far wall and an empty bottle of vodka lying where I found Selena the night before.

Last night scared me. How could someone as perfect as Selena end up like that? She had a loving family and tons of friends who undeniably loved her. She also had the support of thousands of fans, so why would she do that to herself? Why is she hurting herself? Is it my fault? I wasn't here with her when she needed me most, I should've been. I looked down to her arm slung across my stomach and spotted something I was sure I wasn't supposed to see. What the hell? As my hand moved towards her arm and touched the deeps cuts Selena groaned and quickly pulled her hand away. Oh God, she was awake.

She looked up at me with terrified eyes and I still noticed they were as lifeless as last night when I found her lying on the floor. Anger began bubbling up inside of me and I voiced my thoughts from earlier, "What the hell Lean? What in Gods name are you doing yourself? I come back and I see you drunk and smoking and now I see you've been cutting yourself too? How can you be so stupid?" I exclaimed in obvious anger. She simply looked up at me with tears threatening to fall down her angelic face.

She looked down at her wrist and traced the lines of her cuts lightly. When she looked back up her eyes softened and she finally began to sob. I pulled her into a hug and began soothing her. As I rubbed circles into her back and kissed her head I whispered, "Everything's going to be okay Sel, I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you, I promise".

She seemed to cry for hours and began losing her breath. As she gained control again she lifted her face from the crook of my neck. I wiped some of her fallen tears with my thumb. It pained me to see her like this. She smiled a small smile that barely even graced the beautiful features of her face. She looked down and muttered a thank you. I lifted her chin up to look in my eyes and asked "What's going on Selena? Please tell me. You have to let me in".

A long silence passed in which she just stared at me blankly and finally nodded her head. "Dem, I need you here now more than ever. Just please don't freak out okay? Please just listen to everything I have to say before its too late" I nodded quickly, getting scared. She fell silent again and I said, "I promise. I need you just as much as you need me. It hurts me so much to see you like this".

"Okay" she said tentatively, "This is what happened…"

**Please Review:) **


	2. Confession

Chapter 2 - Overdose

**This is chapter 2 for Overdose. I tried my best to write it, i'm not sure if i like this chapter much. Please review though and tell me what you think.**

She took another deep breath and looked up at me. The suspense was killing me. She looked like she was going to start crying again so I put my hand over hers and squeezed lightly to let her know I was still listening.

"When you left, I didn't know what to do. I just felt so alone. Nobody could replace you. I was just moping around the house half the time. My mom decided to send me out because she thought it would be best so she called Taylor to take me out. Not Swift, Lautner…"

She looked up again and I noticed her voice began to shake at the end of her sentence. "He was really nice at first, but then he wouldn't stop. I tried to stop him but I couldn't. He was too strong and I was too weak, I always have been." She choked out that last sentence and began sobbing again. "Oh God Lena, please tell me what happened is not what I'm thinking right now. Please."

"I c-c-can't lie to you Dem…" She began sobbing again and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was rocking her back and forth as she wept in my arms. My heart was breaking whenever I heard her choke out another sob. How could I let this happen to her? What an asshole, I'll kill him; I'm going to fucking kill him!

She finally calmed down and I looked into her eyes. They were still watery and puffy red but I could see the pain in them. There was something else though. Her eyes kept on shifting, not looking directly into my eyes. She was hiding something. There was something else she wasn't telling me. But what I don't understand is why she didn't tell anyone about this.

"Sel, why didn't you tell anyone else about this? Why are you telling me this now? We have to tell your parents, call the cops, anything"

She jumped up from the bed and looked at me with anger and spite. "God Dem, No! How can you be so stupid? We can't tell anyone! This will ruin me!" She looked away from me and swayed a little bit. She reached out in front of her and steadied herself on the wall. Her head lolled forward and she took a couple deep breaths to calm herself down.

I got up and stood next to her. I didn't want to touch her yet, knowing she would flinch away and put her walls back up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just…Sel, what he did to you isn't right. When did it happen?" She snorted at that and I looked at her confused. "It happened more than once Dem." She whispered to me and I just exploded.

"What the hell else are you hiding from me? I know that you're hiding something; I can see it in your eyes. Just please don't lie to me, I'll always be here for you. What is he holding over your head?"

"I c-can't tell you. I-I just can't okay? Please just do what I say alright? Then nobody will get hurt."

"What are you talking about? I've been gone for months and when I come back my best friend is drunk out of her mind and confesses that she's been raped, on multiple occasions, and I'm just supposed to relax?"

"I know it's a lot to take in. Just trust me on this one okay? I need some time alone."

"O-okay. I guess I'll just go home then, since I haven't been there since I got back. I'll come back tonight to check up on you."

"Okay" She whispered and she turned around.

I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. I took a deep breath and heard her smashing things in her room. I just walked away when I heard that. I walked down the hall and then down the stairs and finally out the door. I didn't understand what was going on but I knew I needed to help her in any way I could, I just didn't know how.

(Selena's POV)

It was 2 am, she wouldn't come back tonight. I didn't expect her to. I didn't give her any information, I didn't tell her why. I couldn't though, I can't. It's going to ruin everything I've ever worked for. She makes me happy. When I saw her last night I thought I was dreaming.

Why have I been so stupid? It doesn't matter anymore; I can't stop even if I tried. I'm hurting Demi though, and I can't handle seeing that look on her face again. I felt a breeze hit my face and walked out onto the veranda closing the door behind me. I took a cigarette out of my pack in my pocket and lit it. I inhaled deeply and held it there looking into the starry night.

When did things become so difficult? Everything is so peaceful from here, just me and the sky. I inhaled and exhaled, puff after puff, losing track of time until I looked down to the cigarette between my second and third finger. One more hit and I would be at the filter. I took in my last bit of relaxation and flicked the butt onto the ground below me. That's when I turned around and saw her standing behind me with tears in her eyes.

(Demi's POV)

"Hey Sel, I didn't mean to scare you. Sorry I'm so late. Sorry I wasn't here when you needed me. I'm sorry for everything."

She walked forward and took me into her arms, comforting me like I comforted her earlier that day. I began to shiver and she noticed so she took me inside and laid me down on the bed. She climbed in next to me and wrapped her arms protectively around me. I love her. I love her so much. I felt my skin tingle as she stroked my cheek, brushing the tears away.

She brought her face level to mine and smiled lightly. She was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. I loved the way her hand stroked my hair, it comforted me and soon my eyelids were drooping. I guess she noticed because she hugged me closely and placed a kiss on my forehead. I smiled into her neck and gave her a small kiss.

"I love you so much Demi, so very much" She whispered into my hair and I smiled again.

"I love you too Sel. More than I should."

She shifted slightly and cupped her hands over my cheeks, causing me to look into her eyes. She leaned in a little more. I could feel her breath against my lips and it drove me crazy. She smelled like strawberries.

"What do you mean?" I just wanted to reach up a little more so our lips would connect. I missed her so much during the tour. There was so much tension building up in the room I could feel it caressing my skin. Oh wait, that was her hand. She was running her fingers lightly against my skin on my arm. She moved her hand toward my waist and squeezed lightly.

My shirt lifted up slightly and her fingers brushed my skin. I felt goose bumps along my skin. This was too much for me. My blood was pumping through my veins and I could feel her fingers pressing against my skin, I did the thing that I wanted to do most, I kissed her.

I could feel her lips pushing against mine and I blocked my thoughts out. Whatever happened didn't matter to me as long as I felt like this. It was beautiful. She was warm and welcoming and I could slightly taste smoke in her mouth but it drew me more towards her.

I brought my hand up and placed it at her neck under her chin. I didn't want to break the magic but I couldn't breathe. Her scent was intoxicating and it was getting too hot to handle. She sensed this and broke the kiss. We looked into each others eyes and I could see the love she felt for me in hers. She smiled and I smiled.

She moved in again and set her lips on mine again. It was a very calm and loving kiss. She pulled away again and giggled.

"I can't believe that just happened"

"Well believe it because it did. I love you Selena. I don't know when I figured it out or if it was in my heart all along. I don't have any answers I just know that I want to be with you for always."

"I love you too Demi. I've always loved you. I started drinking because you weren't here. I started smoking because I couldn't deal with reality. I kissed you because I can't deal without having you in my life."

I kissed her nose sweetly and nodded. She was too cute for words. I was finally with her, I guess. We didn't really discuss what we were. We just knew it in our hearts. I still didn't understand a few things but I love her, that's all that matters.

That was the first time I found her intoxicated. It happened three times after that. This is where I am right now, sitting next to her snoring body on the bed beside me. I still don't have any answers. She still hasn't stopped and she still hasn't told me the whole story. I am so helplessly in love with her that I can't leave her. What am I going to do?


	3. Giving up?

**Hey guys, this is the third chapter for my story. I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, it means a lot to me, you guys are great:)I also wanted to quickly mention Demi and what she's going through right now. I'm proud of her that she went and got the help she needed and am praying for her to get better, whether it takes a couple weeks or longer. She needs all the support she can get. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story.  
**

Overdose: Chapter 3

It's silent in the house tonight, finally. The only sound that can be heard is her breathing next to me. She seems quite calm, considering everything that happened tonight. This is the fourth time. Each time I've found her it's gotten worse, this is my breaking point.

I took a deep breath and leaned my head against the headboard of her bed. She was sleeping next to me and every time she would try to get close I would nudge her away. I glanced at the clock, 3:14 am. No sleep for me tonight. This has become routine, I don't think I could sleep even if I wanted to.

Maybe I've become an insomniac. I struggle to stay awake during the day, all my energy wastes out surprisingly quick. At night though, sleep seems to evade me. It's not like I do anything either, I just lie down in my bed and stare off into space. I spend my nights mostly thinking about what has happened and what will happen. I've become obsessed with going over the conversations I have with her, trying to pinpoint when things went wrong. It never works.

Tonight's topic of reflection: My visit to her house. I was checking up on her, I wanted to make sure she was alright. I thought she would be, we were making progress. I was dead wrong. I can't even describe how I felt when I walked through that door and saw her. Shocked? Confused? Hurt? Betrayed? And the list continues.

Maybe I should start from the beginning. That way I can sort through everything and figure out what really happened; after all, I have all night.

I called her but she didn't pick up. I sent her five texts and left two voicemails. She always picks up my calls. Always. I decided to go over to her house to see her. If she wasn't picking up then something was wrong and it's better if I talk to her in person.

As I pulled up to the house I saw all the lights upstairs turned off but saw a few dim lights on downstairs. Maybe she just fell asleep and forgot to call me. Maybe I shouldn't be here. What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't trust her? What kind of girlfriend would I be if I questioned her every move?

I turned the engine back on and as I was about to reverse I heard music start blaring. I looked around and realized it was coming from Selenas house. Fuck. I turned the car off and ran toward the house.

I put my key into the door and slammed into the house. The noise was coming from the basement. I tore down the stairs and turned the corner. What I saw shocked me to say the least. I couldn't even comprehend the situation around me. The empty bottles, the cigarette butts, the smell of weed in the air and the lines of coke on the table.

She was having a party, clearly. There were at least fifteen people here. They were all dancing and drinking and smoking. What the hell was she thinking? I searched the crowd to find her and when I did my heart dropped. Okay, let's be real here, it plummeted to the lowest point of my body. There she was, on the couch. Selena, my Selena was on the couch straddling some random guy practically having sex with him.

Her shirt was littered somewhere on the floor and when her hands reached for his belt I just snapped. I ran forward, cut the music and stood in the middle of the room seething. Her head snapped up and away from sucking that dirt bags face. Our eyes connected. It took her a couple of seconds to realize _who_ I was. Her eyes were bloodshot red.

"Demi" She whispered. And I heard it. I heard it because everyone in the room was completely silent.

She said my name and I couldn't take it. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE" I screamed. When nobody moved I yelled "NOW" all the while keeping my eyes on her. Everyone began clearing out and my eyes drifted to the scumbag who was still under her.

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights but then he recovered. He sat up and gently sat her down on the couch. He buckled his pants back up and gave her a kiss on the forehead. He got up and walked past me out the door. She just looked at me, her head cocked to the side as if she was confused. I just shook my head, disappointed, and walked over to her.

I picked up her shirt and put it on her hunched over form. I slung her arm around my neck and wrapped my arms around her waist. I supported her as we walked up the stairs to her room. I didn't even bother changing her out of her clothes. I laid her down on her bed, wrapped the covers around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry Dem" She whispered, well more like slurred.

"Just go to sleep" I said as I walked out of the room.

I closed the door without waiting for a response, I didn't want to hear her right now, and I couldn't. I went to the basement and began cleaning everything up. I didn't know when her mom was coming home and I couldn't leave the house like this. I did it all on auto mode. Everything was a blur. I could barely see in front of me.

I picked all the bottles and butts up and threw them into a garbage bag. I counted seven empty bottles of Smirnoff. I then moved to the table where the lines of coke were. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. What if I hadn't heard the music and come in? I swept everything up and flushed it down the toilet. How did Selena get to this point?

After I finished I was tired, but apparently not tired enough to sleep. So here I am. She's still sleeping next to me, a little closer now though. I didn't push her away this time. I glanced at the clock, 5:18 am, my eyes began to blur. I lie down next to her and put my head on her pillow.

I can't abandon her now. I love her way too much anyways. I pulled her closer to me and felt her heat radiating off of her in waves, warming up my frigidly cold body. I wrapped my arms protectively around her and she snuggled closer to me. I could feel her breath against my neck and I sighed. No matter what she does I'll still love her, no matter how much she hurts me. I just don't know how much I can handle until I break.

I feel so comfortable in her arms and for the first time in a month I drifted to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to my cell phone ringing. Damn, my alarm clock. I hit the snooze button and took in my surroundings. I realized where I was, Selenas room. Then I remembered what happened last night and my heart dropped, again. I look down at my waist to see her arms wrapped tightly around me.

She looked peaceful, like nothing could harm her. How much farther from the truth can that be? I don't know how to help her anymore. I've tried, so many times; I've tried to get her to stop. She always ends up going back though. Do I mean that little to her?

My alarm rang again and I remember I had work today, damn. Well, on the bright side this was my first "good" night sleep I've have in over a month. Maybe I won't fall asleep on set today. I pulled away from her tight embrace and stood up from her bed. She mumbled something and her hands went to her eyes to rub them.

"Come back to bed babe" She said as she sat up. She finally looked up and squinted a little before realizing who it was. "Demi?"

Anger bubbled up inside me and I snapped at her. "Who were you expecting? The asshole you were fucking last night? 'Cause he's long gone… and so am I"

Her eyes widened but I ignored her and grabbed my purse, heading for the door. I felt something grab onto my wrist. I was pulled back toward her and I swore under my breath. "What the hell do you want?" I was way beyond caring about her right now; I needed my space.

"Dem, please. Look at me." She took my face into her hands and turned it towards her. She looked deeply into my eyes and said "I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. I shouldn't…"

She trailed off and looked down at the floor. I could tell tears were building up in her eyes. She dropped her hands and pulled herself away from me. She turned around and put a hand to her forehead.

"Damn it. I'm such an idiot. D-dem, y-you ha-have to b-believe me. I d-didn't mean t-to. I-I can't lose y-you too. You're the m-m-most important thing in m-my life. Please." She started sobbing but continued with what she had to say. "I'll d-do whatever you a-ask. I… I love you Demi. You're m-my life, w-without you it's n-not worth living"

She choked on the last word and I started crying too. I walked forward and pulled her into my arms. She just said she would rather die than not have me in her life. God, who am I kidding? I feel the same way.

She collapsed in my arms and I brought us gently down to the floor. She had her arms tightly wrapped around my neck and she was crying into my shoulder. I held her there, tears escaping my own eyes, while I rubbed her back to try and calm her down. I whispered into her ear.

"I'm not going anywhere Lena. I'm here to stay. I promise, just don't do this to me again. It hurts me too much"

"I promise Dem. I love you. It's you and me against the world. Together forever. Inseparable till the end of time"

I looked into her bloodshot eyes and nodded. I captured her bottom lip in a kiss and moved my hand to her face, lightly brushing the tears away. I pulled away when I remembered I had work. I'm going to be late, crap.

"I have work" I said as our foreheads leaned against each others. She nodded in understanding and gave me one last kiss before getting up. She held her hand in front of me and helped me up. We walked to the front door in silence and as we reached the door I turned to look at her.

Her hand was still attached to mine and I looked up to her angelic face. She is beautiful, there's no doubting that and she is all mine.

Finally, I spoke "You know we have to talk about this later right?"

"Yeah I know. I'll do anything, just as long as you come back to me."

"I'll be back later on tonight. Get yourself cleaned up. I want to take you out tonight for a little fun before we talk."

She smirked playfully and I giggled.

"What are you smirking at Miss Gomez?"

She laughed and quirked her eyebrow, "Well, Miss Lovato" She stepped forward and pecked my lips "I was just thinking how lucky I am that I have you all to myself."

I laughed, "Damn straight"

She laughed again and her face went slightly reminiscent, "It'll be just like old times." She smiled wistfully at that and I couldn't help but smiled back.

"Yep, just like old times, just me and you."

I leaned in to kiss her and I walked out the door. I got into my car and waved to her. I looked into the mirror and gasped. I looked like crap. My hair was slightly disheveled and my clothes were wrinkled, looking like they were slept in, which they clearly were. But the most shocking were the dark bags under my eyes. I hadn't realized they got that bad because the makeup was covering them most of the time.

I sighed, put my car into gear and drove away. I glanced back to see her watching me leave from the door with a frown on her face. A minute later I got a phone call. I didn't bother looking at the caller ID; I just picked it up quickly, "Hello?"

"Miss Lovato?" I smirked and giggled, "Yes,"

"I love you"

"I love you too angel"

**Please review, it will make my day a little brighter:) **


	4. Dinner Date

**Okay, first of all i want to apologize for submitting this so late! I've just had a lot going on with my life and i just couldn't find the time to write and update the story. I'll try my very hardest to upload the next chapter much quicker. Things at school are getting really hectic since exams are starting soon and IB is really piling on the work. So i apologize in advance if i'm a little late sometimes. I've already started working on another story about a school trip to New York. I want to write a few more chapters before i upload the story so watch out for that. I also have a few one-shot ideas at the back of my head so if i have the time i'll write those and update them. **

**Lastly, i'd like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed, you guys made my day and you are all awesome! I'm so happy that you guys are reading my story and that you like it. Thanks a lot guys!  
**

Overdose – Chapter 4

When I finally arrived at work this morning I wasn't surprised when people looked at me like I was on drugs, I certainly looked the part. I sighed and walked into makeup to cover up my bags and to start filming. After I was all pampered up and looked like the perfect Disney princess, I went to work. Everything was going great so far. I had a lot more energy than other days which was very noticeable.

When it was our lunch break I went into my room to lie down for a bit. I drank some water and collapsed on the couch, just letting my muscles recoil. I heard a knock on the door and told them to come in, it was Tiffany, I should've guessed. She's been worried about me lately, I couldn't blame her.

"Hey, how're you doing?" She asked.

"I'm fine, how are you?" I said.

She laughed and shook her head, "Look, I'm not here for small talk okay?"

"Yeah, I know, I didn't think so," I paused. She waited for me to continue, she knew I would. "Can I ask you something hypothetical?"

She nodded and sat down with her feet wrapped underneath her on the opposite corner of the couch.

"Well," I began "Let's say I have this friend who's been…hurt…"

"What kind of hurt Dem?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah, it kind of does. That's if you want help with this hypothetical friend of yours"

"Raped" I said quietly and she stuttered out her response. "O-okay"

"So she was…hurt and she can't deal with her problems so she's been doing…other things to help"

"Like?"

"Well let's say she was doing things to make herself feel better. Like alcohol and drugs…and what if she was smoking and cutting herself too? What would I do then?"

Tiffany looked a little scared but responded anyways. "Well, it sounds like she's in a bad place right now and is really sensitive. You need to get her professional help Demi. If she's as bad as you're telling me then the only thing you can do is get her to talk to someone who can help, and that's not you Dem."

"But I can't Tiff. You don't get it. This would ruin her. Her career would be over and she would hate me…she would hate me" I said trailing off at the end.

"I don't know Dem, I told you what I think" She said. She though for a few seconds then quickly added, "We're not talking about you are we?"

"No!" I said quickly. "No, we're not, I promise" I said more calmly.

"Okay. You can always come to me if you need anything else, I'm always here for you" She said as she got up.

I got up also and gave her a hug before she left and closed the door. I curled up on the couch and closed my eyes. Next think I knew I was fast asleep dreaming.

** Dream **

"_Come on Dem! We're gonna be late! Faster!" Selena screamed as she ran further through the meadow toward her house. _

_We were playing outside today, on this warm summer day. It was the last day before summer break was over and we got to spend it together. I'm happiest when I'm with her. _

"_Sel! Wait up! You know I can't run that fast" I yelled after her. She let out the most angelic laugh I have ever heard and came jogging back to me. She always came back to me. _

_She pulled on my hand toward the house but I just plopped on the ground and smiled up at her. She giggled and plopped down next to me. _

_Her raven curls framed her face perfectly and fell past her shoulders. The smile on her face was beautiful, I couldn't help but stare. We were both sitting cross legged looking at each other. She suddenly laid back on the gross and motioned for me to do the same. _

_She held her arm out to the side, motioning for me to lie next to her so I lied down placing my head on her chest. She wrapped her arms protectively around me and sighed happily. She kissed my head and giggled. I looked up at her but found she was now looking at the sky. I followed her gaze and looked at the marvelous baby blue sky. It was a gorgeous colour and the fluffy white clouds floated around, almost like they were protecting the sun, like Selena protects me. _

"_Look at that one!" She said excitedly as she pointed to a cloud to my left. "It looks like a hippo" She giggled. I laughed out loud at her and she squeezed me lightly. "What? It does" She mumbled. _

_I just grinned and pointed to one near the sun. "Look at that one Sel" I said as we both admired the beauty in front of us. The big fluffy cloud was being illuminated by the sun that it was partially covering. It looked like heaven, or what I imagine heaven to look like. The layers of the fluffy clouds were a bright yellowy white. I looked around and realized the true beauty I was living in. _

_The slight breeze was causing the taller grass in the distance to sway back and forth rhythmically. The grass was yellow there but here, where me and Selena sat, it was green. It was actually the most radiant shade of green I had ever seen; it was Selena's favourite colour. There was a huge oak tree to our far left that cast a massive area in shadow. The trunk was twisted and old but beautiful all the same, it looked wise. _

_Its branches extended out into the sky and its silvery green leaves swayed in the wind. This was peace for me. _

_The most important thing in this meadow though was the creature lying next to me, holding me in her arms. She was beautiful inside and out. She was sweet and caring and kind, she was mine. I smiled again before I snuggled in closer to her and she wrapped her arms tighter around me. _

** Present **

I woke up snuggling into the couch I was sleeping on. I smiled at my dream, I would never forget that day. Things were so peaceful for us then. We stayed out there watching the clouds and talking for hours. To say we were late would be a major understatement. But it was worth it, every second I spend with Selena is worth it. That was the first time I realized how thankful I was for the things I had. That day was pure bliss and reliving it was even better, it brought a warm feeling to my heart.

The whole dream was in slow motion, sort of. I could just see every little thing that meant the world to me that day. The colours were radiant, just as I remember them and the emotions I felt were as real as they are now. That is by far one of the best memories I have with her.

I got up slowly and checked the time. Two more hours and I would be able to go home and get ready for tonight. I was excited, I wanted just some time together before we needed to talk. I don't agree with what has been happening lately and seeing her with that guy almost shattered me.

I say almost but in actuality it did. I still feel hurt that she would do that to me, whether she was sober or not. I had the picture of them together seared into my brain; there was no way I would forget that. I don't know how to deal with this situation anymore. Maybe Tiffany is right, maybe I should get her to see a professional.

I just don't know anymore. I'll have to see how tonight goes and decide. I decided to take part of Tiffany's advice though and I e-mailed a professional, just to get another opinion.

I headed home to get ready for tonight when we were finished filming. I decided to call Selena to let her know I would be there in an hour. I picked up my phone and dialed the set of numbers I would never forget. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hey babe" She said cheerfully.

"Hey, how was your day?" I asked.

"It was alright. I got to relax at home. I went grocery shopping with my mom, that was the highlight of my day, so far" She said as she giggled.

"Well that's good. Listen, I'm coming to pick you up in about an hour, at 7:00" I said glancing at the clock.

"Uhhh, yeah, that sounds good. I'll see you soon" She said.

"Okay, I'll see you later" I said, getting ready to hang up the phone.

"Wait, Dem?" She said quickly.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For everything you're doing for me. I just wanted to say thanks"

I sighed and answered "Don't worry about it okay? I'll talk to you later" I said as I quickly hung up. I love her, I truly do, its just every time I think about the person she is my mind draws a blank. She's changed, and I'm not sure if I like the new Selena.

It's not even fully that that's bothering me. It's the fact that she isn't coming to me for help and I have this weird feeling that she's keeping something from me. I know the old Selena is somewhere down there, she just needs me to pull it out of her, and she can't do this on her own. I opened my closet, looking for something to wear. I decided to take her to this Greek restaurant I heard of a few days ago. Apparently they had good food and it was beautiful inside. It wasn't too fancy but semi-formal so I pulled a simple black dress from my closet.

I heard my phone vibrate and I chuckled when I saw the message.

_What should I wear? :) Wait, better question: What are __**you**__wearing? ;) _

I quickly texted her back, knowing what she was asking.

_I'm wearing a little black dress ;) Put anything on, you'll look beautiful in wtv u wear. _

She texted back immediately.

_You're such a charmer Dem! Alright, see u soon. Don't b late! ;) _

I shook my head and got changed, tonight was going to be a long night. I pulled my dress on and looked in the mirror, I looked good but something was missing. I grabbed a long silver necklace and pulled it over my head.

My hair was curled perfectly thanks to filming earlier today and I felt hot. I put on a thumb ring, grabbed my phone and purse and walked downstairs. I decided to wear my black hooker heals tonight, why not? I smiled at my reflection in the mirror and headed to my car.

I turned the engine on and headed to Selena's house without looking back. On my way there I stopped by a flower shop and got her a single yellow rode. She hates bouquets, she things it's cheesy. I laughed when she told me that but nonetheless I listened to her.

I pulled up to her house and just before getting out I checked myself out in the mirror and smiled, "Ready to go". I wanted to look beautiful for tonight. Even though we had done this many times, I was nervous. The butterflies in my stomach must have been on crack the way they were fluttering.

I ran on the doorbell and stood there swaying back and forth humming a random song. She opened the door suddenly and I froze. She grinned at me, probably because I looked like an idiot, and said, "Hey babe".

That took me out of my catatonic state and I smiled handing her the rose. She was wearing a short white dress that fit her perfectly. Her hair fell down her shoulders in waves and touched just below her breasts, she looked stunning. She wore bangles on her left hand which were to hide her cuts I presume. The low neck line of the dress was accentuated by the necklace I bought her, a beautiful white gold cross. I smiled and looked up into her eyes.

"Hey! I missed you" I said as I leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Missed you too" She said "Thank you for this. For everything. It means a lot to me."

"You're very welcome" I said. "Now get your sexy ass in my car before I jump you and we miss our reservation." She laughed and linked our arms as we walked to the car.

My friend was right, this restaurant was amazing. It wasn't really a restaurant per say, it was more like mini private rooms. There were mini temples with pillars surrounding the table and the "temples" were named according to different Gods and Goddesses in Greek mythology.

The dimly lit room was romantic and was the perfect setting for tonight. There was a carefree and fun atmosphere though that seemed to stand out. The beige and off-white really calmed me down and relaxed my eyes. Life-like statues adorned different places around the restaurant, as if guarding it from evil. Beautiful was an understatement. Nothing compared to the beauty beside me though who was holding on to my hand as the waiter brought us to the temple of Aphrodite.

I smiled and said "The temple of Aphrodite eh? Appropriate name seeing as I'm dining with a Goddess tonight. The most beautiful Goddess if I might add."

She laughed out loud at me and said "You're so cheesy Dem! But you're a charmer"

"Hey! I only speak the truth my beautiful Aphrodite" I said as I cupped her cheek and burst out laughing. She joined in with me and things were as carefree like when we were best friends, before this whole mess. I have to admit though; it's much better now because I get to touch her and hold her and kiss her to my hearts desire. I'm still worried about her but ever since we professed our love for each other, she seems happier. I can tell she's trying to stop, really hard. I just have to support her. I need to be there for her because this is her moment of greatest weakness.

We looked through the menu and decided what we wanted to eat. The waiter then took our orders and walked away.

We were left alone at the table bathing in the romantically dim lights, staring into each others eyes. Her chocolate brows orbs had a glint of happiness in them, something I hadn't seen in a while and it warmed my heart. We were having a good time, laughing carefree and enjoying each others company. When our appetizers arrived the waiter put all of them down except for one.

He poured some type of alcohol on the cheese and brought the lighter out. Selena looked confused and I just laughed because I knew what was going to happen. The waiter lit the cheese and a high flame rose as he yelled "OPA!" Selena jumped a little bit and I laughed again.

"Enjoy your saganaki ladies and I will be back with your main course shortly" He said just before he walked off.

"That was a little scary, not going to lie" Selena said, "But it was awesome! I love it!" She said as she laughed.

I held her hand under the table but she pulled away and brought my hand to rest with hers on the top of the table.

"No hiding tonight okay? I just want to eat dinner with my gorgeous girlfriend in peace" She said as she smiled warmly.

"Done" I said as I leaned forward and captured her lips in a short but sweet kiss. When we pulled away we both smiled uncontrollably. She giggled, probably from the love struck look I gave her. I joined in and soon we were talking about whatever popped into our heads. After we finished off the main meal, which was excellent, we decided to get dessert.

"Oooooh, Dem look at this one! Can we get it? Please please please!" Selena said, "You know I'm a sucker for chocolate"

I laughed "Yeah, I know. And I'm a sucker for you so we'll share it" I said as I gave the waiter our order. He came back with our triple fudge chocolate cake and using the two forks, we shared the slice.

"Demiiiiiiiii! Open up!" Selena said as she lifted her fork to my mouth. I giggled and opened my mouth but before I could catch on to what she was doing the cake was being pressed onto my cheek.

She laughed loudly and apologized. "Oh! I am sooooo sorry Dem! I was just so mesmerized by your beauty that I guess I missed the target." She said as she began laughing in hysterics. I couldn't keep my angry face on for any longer and I laughed too.

She then brought her thumb to my cheek and wiped off the chocolate. She licked it all off her finger, all the while smiling.

"I think there's a little more right…here" She said as she leaned into me from across the table. She gently caressed my cheek with her tongue and when she was satisfied she pulled away. I blushed profusely but she was clearly not finished with me yet because she leaned in and stole a kiss from my lips.

We finished everything off and when the waiter brought the receipt Selena began rummaging in her purse. I put my hand over hers and said, "I got it. I said I was taking you out tonight so it's my treat."

"Oh, alright. Thank you though, I had a lovely time" She said as we got up to go. Our hands connected as we made our way to the car and she intertwined our fingers.

On the drive home I could tell she was getting nervous for when we got home to talk. She held my hand firmly while I drove and I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb to calm her down.

"Sel, it's just me okay? Don't worry. We'll figure things out. I promise" I said as I looked over to her. Her features lightened slightly and we both smiled.

Whatever happens happens. Right now I'm just grateful I have my angel sitting next to me.

**Please review! The more i get the more motivated i'll be to write the next chapter! **


	5. Revelation?

**Sorry for the late update guys! things have just been really hectic for me lately. Thanks for sticking with me though and thank you so much for the sweet reviews! Each and every one of you are AMAZING and brighten up my day. I tried my best to write what i could for this chapter. Anyways, here it goes. **

Overdose: Chapter 5

I drove into her driveway, put the car in park and took the key out of the ignition. We just sat there for a good two minutes, silently thinking our own thoughts. I looked over to her and smiled, she was somewhere else right now. I squeezed her hand lightly and she looked at me. She didn't smile though, she looked scared and distraught.

I leaned over and pulled her face to look at me with my hands. I held it there so she could look into my eyes and I could look into hers. I lightly rubbed my thumb over her cheek and leaned in my lips a few inches from hers. They were trembling; I could feel them even though our lips were not fully touching. I brought mine forward though and hesitantly brushed against hers. It wasn't a kiss, we were just listening to each other breathe. I could feel her hot breath on my lips as I finally put a little bit of pressure on her lips.

We moved rhythmically together and things went from sweet, innocent and caring to hot, deep and passionate. I couldn't control myself, it was just too much. We were caught up in the moment and I knew neither of us wanted this feeling to end.

Her lips were soft and smooth but she put just the right amount of pressure to let me know that she wanted this more than anything. She hesitantly brushed her tongue against my bottom lip and I smiled. She used that to her advantage and slipped her tongue into my mouth. Our tongues wrestled sensually, this was turning me on. My hands were still on her face, slowly shifting back toward her hair and gripping it lightly. She was a little more confident than me and her hands reached for the bottom of my shirt. She ran her fingertips along my stomach and hips and I was tingling underneath her touch.

I broke apart from the kiss, breathing heavily. "Maybe we should take this inside" I suggested, trying to calm my thumping heart. She just nodded and hopped out of the car. I was still in a daze so she came to my side, opened the door and tugged on my hand a little. I followed her into the house and as soon as the door closed her lips found mine. She pinned me to the wall right beside the doors and her hands began searching way up higher than before. She detached our lips and began kissing my neck, no, more like sucking. I groaned and she smiled. I wanted this so much but why did I get the feeling that this was wrong?

It's not wrong because of Selena, it's wrong because of the situation she's putting me in. She found my pulse point and began sucking while her fingers reached my bra and were about to explore further. I moaned but pushed her away slightly so that our bodies were still touching but her lips were a good distance away from mine. She whimpered and pouted.

I took a deep breath and looked down and away from her searching eyes. She was clearly confused. "I thought this was wanted..." She said, sounding hurt. "No, it is. It was. I just… I thought it was what I wanted too." I avoided her gaze and she cupped my face with her hands bringing them up to her gaze. The look in her eyes was the look she always used to give me when I was hurt. I haven't seen it in a while and it felt good to feel cared for by her again.

"You've always been the sensitive one Dem… I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you. I've just been a mess. I'm sorry for everything" She said looking into my eyes. I could see the hurt and the love and how much she cared for me. I could see all of that in her eyes and it calmed me. "No Sel, I haven't been there for you. If I had then it wouldn't have gone this far…"

She interrupted me and I could tell she was angry, but not at me, at herself. "No, you don't get it. You have been here. If you hadn't been I would be six feet under the ground right now. This is not your fault, it never was. I'm just stupid and I shouldn't have resorted to that but I did and now I just, I can't stop Demi. I'm trying, I really am. You have no idea how hard it is for me to stop."

She dropped her hands from my face and turned around with tears in her eyes. I stepped up behind her and wrapped my arms around her stomach, resting my head on her shoulder. She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes. We stood like that for a few minutes, just swaying back and forth, enjoying the feeling of our bodies pressed up against each other. I kissed her jaw and that seemed to wake her out of her trance because she pulled away from me. "I don't deserve you. Just leave before I hurt you anymore than I already have." She said.

I just shook my head and hugged her from the front this time. She struggled to get away but I held her tight and she finally gave up, melting into my arms. She snuggled into me and I could feel her hot breath on the crook of my neck. "Come on, go lie down on the couch. I'll pick a movie and we'll just lie down. Go." I said as she nodded and reluctantly pulled away from me. I tapped her butt as she walked away and I could feel she had a smile on her face.

I picked the Hunchback of Notre Dame from her movie case and put it into the DVD system. I grabbed a blanket and went to her laying form on the couch in the dim light. Her eyes were closed but I could tell she was just thinking. I leaned down in front of her and caressed her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open and a light smile graced her features. She moved to the side slightly and I slipped in behind her. She cuddled into my back and we lay down on our sides in a spooning position. I pulled the blanket over us and pressed the play button.

I held onto her, tight enough for her to know I was there but gentle enough for her to know I would never hurt her. I kissed the top of her head and we concentrated on the movie for a while. I could tell she was comfortable in my arms. I looked at her angelic face and saw her eyes fluttering to stay awake. I smiled and turned the volume down a little bit. Her eyes finally fluttered closed, she always fell asleep during movies. She turned around from her position and faced me with her eyes still closed. She held me close and pulled my head into her chest and ran her fingers through my hair. She was the one that needed my help but she was comforting me.

"Don't worry about me right now babe" She said as if reading my thoughts. "We can talk in the morning" She murmured as she kissed my temple. I just smiled and nodded into her chest. She took that as a good sign and tightened her grip around me. We fell asleep in that position. She fell asleep feeling like she was about to lose the love of her life. And I fell asleep knowing I would never leave her side.

I woke up in her comfortable embrace. Her warm arms were still clutching on to me and her steady breathing hit my check lightly. She was still asleep. I probably should let her rest for a little bit more. She has to go to work today while I have the day off. I glanced at the clock, 6:50; I'll wake her up in ten minutes. It felt good to just be with her last night, and wake up in her arms this morning. Her holding me is the best think I could've asked of her right now. Maybe we can make this work. Maybe I can help her on my own. She seems to be okay when I'm with her, maybe all I have to do is never leaver her side. 7:00, it's time for her early morning wake up call.

"Sel baby, you have to wake up" I said quietly as I shook her lightly. I brought my hand to her cheek and caressed it softly. She smiled lightly and I pecked her lips. Her eyes fluttered open tiredly and when they focused on me she smiled widely.

"You're still here" She said in obvious amazement.

"Of course I am, what were you expecting?" I said a little curious.

"No nothing, it's just, it's nice waking up to you in my arms" She said quietly as she kissed me a little longer than before.

"Come on, get up. You have to get to work". I said sitting up and nudging her to the end of the couch. She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my shoulder. She breathed in deeply and mumbled a small "okay" into my neck. She kissed me there and got up. "I'm going to make breakfast and then get ready for work. Just relax and find something to wear in my closet" She said as she smiled and walked toward the kitchen.

I went up to her room and pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans with a simple t-shirt. I brushed my teeth and hair before going downstairs to the kitchen. I snuck in on her and she was bustling around the kitchen humming a Christmas song. God, she was weird, I love her so much for that though. I tiptoed behind her and poker her sides, she jumped.

"Shit Demi, way to scare me. I could've ruined _your_ breakfast" she said trying to keep a straight face but began chuckling lightly.

"You'll live" I said as I took in the sweet smell of pancakes, sausages, bacon and maple syrup. "Smells great babe".

"It better. I've been practicing for months" She said as she kissed me lightly. "Come on, let's eat so we can talk about…stuff" She trailed off.

"You have to go to work. Don't worry about anything. We'll eat; I'll drive you to work and then come back and clean everything up. We'll talk after work okay?" I said.

"You're too sweet Demi, okay sounds good" She said as she drenched her pancakes and sausages in maple syrup. She doesn't like bacon; I guess she made it especially for me. After we finished eating I placed the plates in the sink while she got changed and headed to my car.

We drove to the studio in a comfortable, loving silence. We kept on glancing over at each other and smiling goofily, like we used to. We arrived at the studio and got out of the car. I went around, opened her car door and held my hand out to help her.

"Why thank you" She said as she smiled brightly.

"You're very welcome my dear" I said in a gentlemanly voice. She giggled and I couldn't help but laugh at my silliness. I closed the door behind her and smiled. She gestured towards the door, signaling that she had to go. I nodded and went in to hug her but she kissed me full out on the lips in the middle of the parking lot. I was still in shock when she pulled away and smirked. "Close your jaw babe," She said with a laugh in her voice "Can't have you catching flies" She said as she winked at me.

She went to leave but I pushed her against the car and kissed her passionately. This time she was caught off-guard but recovered quickly and moved her lips to match the rhythm of mine. We pulled apart breathing heavier than before and looked at each other with dazed expressions. "I'll catch a ride home with David. I love you. See you later." She said as she walked toward the studio entrance. "Love you too" I shouted after her and leaned against the car door admiring the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

I got back to Selena's house and went straight to the kitchen to clean up the mess we made. I had some work to do today so once I was finished I settled myself in Selena's office and focused for a few hours.

I made some important phone calls and verified upcoming events I needed to attend. I headed to the family room and turned on the t.v, it was 3:00, perfect time for a nap. I woke up at who knows what time to Selena's voice calling me from the front foyer. "Dem? Are you here? Demi?"

I sat up as she walked into the family room and we smiled at each other. I leaned up and kissed her as she sat down next to me.

"How was work? " I asked as she looked a little uncomfortable.

"It was good. Just a regular day" She responded.

"Oh, that's good. So, ummmmm…." I trailed off.

She looked up from her hands and into my eyes. Her face was tense but her eyes showed that she was finally going to tell me what was going on.

"What do you want to know?"

**Okay, so since i left you guys hanging and it took my a while to update, i want your help for something. When you review, let me know what you want Demi to ask Selena and ill try to fit in as many as i can. Please review guys, i want to improve my writing and i want some input on what you guys think. Thanks a lot!**


	6. The Whole Story

Authors Note: I am so so so sorry for taking so long to update this story. It is very dear to my heart but I've just been extremely busy. I got sick earlier this year and my grandfather was diagnosed with lung cancer. I've been trying to juggle a lot of things lately and I just haven't gotten around to finishing the story. I am working on the seventh chapter and I'm trying my very best to get that out to you guys. I hope this chapter is good/long enough, I'm quite proud of it :) I really hope you guys enjoy this and you keep reading. Please try and review so I know what you guys are thinking and what I'm doing wrong. I really appreciate you guys sticking with me for this long. Thanks for all the support.

Overdose – Chapter 6

The Whole Story

I looked at her closely as she took a deep breath in. There was no going back now, she asked me what I wanted to know and I was using this to my advantage. I looked into her eyes and knew she was going to tell me the truth but she was scared. I took her hand in mine and leaned in to give her a small kiss on her lips. I pulled back and took a deep breath.

"Well, first off, I want to know what happened, from the beginning" I said

"The whole thing?" She asked. I just nodded and she took a deep breath. "Okay. You left for tour and things between us were great. I didn't think I could fall even more in love with you than I was at that point. But then you left, and I felt like my world just shattered. I was constantly sad and crying. When I wasn't at work I would lock myself in my room and…and do nothing. I would do nothing. Sometimes I would sleep, but it took hours for me to actually fall asleep. I eventually convinced myself that when you came back it wouldn't be the same, that you would forget about me…"

"You know I could never forget about you Sel, you're my heart, my angel. I love you more than anything in the world" I said looking deep in her eyes.

"I know that now, it's just that I was in a bad place and I didn't really understand. I felt like my mind was spinning and I was losing everything and everyone that ever meant something to me. My mom thought it was a good idea to get me out of the house so she called Taylor to take me out. He was a gentleman at first and he took me out quite a few times before things started getting out of hand." I got a little angry at that and said "What did he do to you?"

"N-nothing yet. One night he took me out drinking at a party, it wasn't a big deal. We were just having fun, dancing and drinking, just been teenagers. But then the drugs started coming out and I got a little scared, he reassured me though that everything would be okay, so I believed him. I don't really remember exactly what happened that night but he took me out the next night and the night after that and I just couldn't help but let myself go." She took a deep breath to see if I was still listening and then continued.

"It had been a month since you left, and you didn't return my calls so I just snapped. He offered me a drink then another and another and another and I accepted. I thought the only way to get over the pain I was feeling was to drink it out. I got so drunk at one point that I didn't realize Taylor was leading me to a room upstairs. Then I realized too late because he already had me p-pinned to the bed and he wouldn't let me out. I tried calling for help and screaming but n-no one came. No matter how much I tried to get you out of my head that night, you were all I could think of. You, always you. Y-you were the last thing I thought of b-before I passed out that night."

She broke down crying in my arms and I let my tears go as well. It was all a mistake, why was she so worried she would lose me? It was entirely my fault though, God if I hadn't been so stupid none of this would have happened. Once she calmed down enough for her to speak she looked into my eyes and asked if she could continue. I just nodded my head and she began to speak again.

"Things just started spiraling out of control after that. There was just so much pain, I thought the drugs could numb that".

"Didn't they?" I asked. It took her a few seconds before she nodded slowly – unsure of herself.

"For a while." I gave her a confused face and she continued. "You feel like you're numb, like the pain won't be able to touch you, but it does. I don't know how I got through some nights to be honest. It would get so bad".

"What would?" I asked.

She brushed the question aside and continued, "It doesn't matter. You wanted to hear the story. I was at a party one night and I got trashed, I didn't know what was going on with me at all – then I saw her. I didn't think I would've seen her again, not with how I left things when I moved. I should've prepared myself for this. Not her specifically, but anyone. It was _their _turf. I remember her walking over and trying to help me. She asked if she could see me again, and I said yes…"

She trailed off at that point and choked back a sob. I leaned forward and looked into her eyes, assuring her I was there for her. She let out a deep breath and continued.

"We were supposed to meet that Friday but I chose not to go. And then she died. For my own stupid, selfish reasons, she died. We weren't great friends, but my decisions; my stupid decisions caused someone's death. She was only trying to help me".

She was choking to get the words out the entire time, but kept forcing herself to continue. "What was her name?" I asked.

"Catherine" She whispered. I didn't dare to ask what had happened – how she died. I hadn't noticed before but the air in the room was thick and hot. I could hardly breathe.

"It's not your fault. It was a misfortunate event, but not your fault," I said.

She took a deep breath of the stale air and said calmly, "If we hadn't set up that meeting she wouldn't have been there at that time. The sun wouldn't have been setting and the bus driver wouldn't have hit her". Her voice grew edgier as she spoke and I didn't want to aggravate her.

"I'm really sorry things happened the way they did".

I don't even thing she was listening to me, just staring at something. She's in her own little world. "I didn't even go to her funeral". That's when she broke down and cried. I didn't know whether she wanted me to touch her but she didn't recoil when I touched her arm. I gathered her onto my lap and rocked her back and forth with a chorus of "shhh's".

Did she think I was going to leave her over this? I thought she would've known by now how much I love her. I would never let her go, especially not for something like this. Once she calmed down considerably I voiced my thoughts.

"I love you, and this changes nothing between us, okay? Let's just work on getting you better. We're going to start fresh".

She nodded and I placed a small kiss on her head. I brought her upstairs and she fell asleep in my arms. I am going to fix this. I'm going to make her the person she was before all this happened. It was my final thought of the day before I settled into a comfortable sleep accompanied by a strange dream.

_6:00 am – Time for work. I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. Mornings really aren't my thing. I cleaned myself and got dressed for work. I left the bathroom and crawled back onto my bed to wake up my wife with a kiss. I watched her chest go up and down and thanked God she was alive and with me. She opened her eyes and smacked me when she saw me looking. _

"_Stop being such a creep! Make me my breakfast woman!" She said with a smile. I laughed at her and kissed her. The spark isn't gone you know? She's the same girl she's always been – but she's changed. She's beautiful and loving and caring, but she's also tough and stubborn and annoying. She has a terrible temper, if things don't go her way, they're not going to go at all. But I love everything about her – our relationship has only gotten better. We've gotten past all the bad – well, most of it. We still struggle, we still fight, but you know what really matters? How much we love each other at the end of the day – how much we're willing to work on our relationship. _

_I heard crying and she groaned as she got up. "Ill go get her – you make breakfast". I nodded and went downstairs to the kitchen. I put some bread in the toaster and got my fruit out of the fridge to make a smoothie for myself. I blended the fruit and buttered the toast then I put a bottle of milk in the microwave to warm it up. _

_She came down the stairs with Anna squirming in her arms. I smiled, "Good morning". _

"_Morning". I took Anna from her arms and kissed her while Selena sat at the table and began eating. "You could've just put me cereal you know? I don't really care what I eat". _

_I glared at her "You never eat – you need to put some meat on your bones, you're starting to scare me" _

"_Stop being such a downer – you know I can't fix that. Stop worrying okay? I eat when I'm hungry – I'm safe now, I promise" _

_I nodded as she leaned over and gave me a quick peck on the lips. I smiled and got up taking my smoothie in my travel mug. I placed Anna in her crib and kissed her good bye. I headed to the door with Selena following behind me. "I'm guna miss you" She said with the cutest little pout on her face. "We go through this every time I leave in the morning. Ill miss you too – but Ill see you in a few hours okay? I won't be home late tonight," I said with a smile. _

"_Promise?" She looked vulnerable, the vulnerability that scares me – the one that reminds me of our youth. "I promise. I love you," I said as I kissed her on the cheek. _

"_Love you too," She said as she was turning away. I pulled her back into me and hugged her tight. I whispered into her ear "You know that 'love you too' and 'I love you too' mean totally different things right?" She smiled and whispered back "I love you too". _

_It was a nice day today – the sun was shining, the sky was blue, the clouds were big and stark white. I love these kinds of days; it's not too hot with a nice cool breeze. I need these days. I need them to remind me about the good of the world. The sun will always come out – no matter how nasty the day seems. The sun always shines brighter after a big rainstorm._

_I was on my way home from work – it was only 4:00pm but I promised Selena I would be home early tonight. I needed to see her anyways; she always makes me feel better, especially when I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. _

_I got home and Selena met me at the door of our living room with a strained look on her face. I walked up to her and kissed her. I hugged her tight, put our foreheads together and smiled at her. "What's wrong baby?" I whispered. She pulled back and cleared her throat. "We have company…"_

_I looked over into the room and I saw her. My heart filled with rage – I knew there was something wrong. She sat there, after four years without seeing her, like nothing had happened. I gave a strained "Hello" and walked into the kitchen with Selena following me. "What the hell is she doing here Selena?" _

_She looked like she was about to cry, but I didn't care. I couldn't go through this again, not like last time. She didn't answer me. "Fuck" I swore. She swallowed, looked me in the eyes and said, "She just dropped by Dem, and it's not a big deal. You don't have to worry, I'm okay." I poured myself a glass of wine and walked back into the living room with Selena closely behind me. _

_The baby monitor let out a strong cry and Selena grabbed it. She gave me a warning look before she left the room and I was left alone with __**her**_.

"_What are you doing here?" I asked. _

_She looked at me calmly and responded, "I'm sorry to intrude, it's been so long... I just missed her". _

"_You really hurt her. You destroyed her when she was vulnerable. How the hell could you do that to her? You were her best friend. How dare you come back after so long! You have no idea how many pieces I had to pick up after you left. You have no idea how hard it was for us, for her. You selfish fucking bitch. I was so happy when we got rid of you. You ruined everything for us. Like hell I'm going to let you do that again." _

_She looked up at the door where Selena was standing, and she looked pissed. "DEMI! What the hell is wrong with you? I'm sorry but this isn't your problem. Where do you come off saying that to her?" She was carrying Anna in her hands and I felt ashamed, what was I doing? I can't lose her again. "I'm sorry." I whispered. _

"_I don't want to hear it. You're not sorry. You're ridiculous. I need to get out of the house for a while" She said. _

"_Don't do this. Not to me, not again." _

"_I'm taking Anna." She said to me. My heart dropped, am I going to lose my child as well? She turned toward Melissa __and asked, "Can I stay with you for a bit?" _

_She smiled, got out her keys and walked towards the door "Of course". _

"_Don't take her, don't leave. Just stay, we'll talk about it okay? Just stay. Please. Don't leave me". _

"_I need some space right now." She said as she went upstairs to pack some things. I watched them walk out of the door. My life. My life just walked out of the door. Gone, just like that. Just like before. I didn't watch them drive away – I couldn't. I walked back into the house, took a bottle of scotch from our liquor cabinet and sat on the floor. _

_I was alone again. I'm always alone. Melissa h__as always had that pull on her – there's something about her that makes Selena follow her. I can't compete with that, with her. I don't understand what I've done wrong. I thought we were past this. God damn it. She left me – for how long, I don't know. But she left. Just like that. _


End file.
